The Last Goodbye

Hello again, and for the last time! After nine short months, I returned home early on the morning of the 21st. I did take a brief thirty-six hour stop in Iceland on the way home, just to say I’d been there. The weather was cold and a little overcast, but the city of Reykjavik was pretty, and the ocean was gorgeous.

This is the last blog post for my abroad blog, and it’s a post of goodbyes. Goodbye to Cambridge, goodbye to Europe, goodbye to my friends, goodbye to studying abroad. That’s a lot of goodbyes in just a short period of time, and to be honest, it’s been emotionally taxing, and that’s partly because there’s nothing anyone can say or do to prepare you for a goodbye like this. Nobody talks about this part. Yes, in our pre-departure classes we were all told that we were ALL going to experience the phases of adjustment where we miss home, and then, just when we’re used to the place we live, we don't want to leave. But that never happened to me. From the moment I stepped foot in this country, I never wanted to leave. I knew that the clock was ticking faster than everyone else's, because even though they were here for shorter amounts of time than I was, they could say at the end of the day that they were ready to go back and see their friends, family, Valpo, etc. I was not. And when you don’t want to leave, there is nothing anyone can do to prepare you for this sort of goodbye, a goodbye to a place that has given you so much in ways that you can’t even describe to anyone.  

I have seen people look back and reminisce and say, “Wow, I’m so grateful I had this opportunity!” and that does not begin to say how much I have appreciated this opportunity. The impact of this experience has forged its way into all aspects of my life, and I will never be able to express just how much these nine months have meant to me.

They say that home is where the heart is, and if this is true, then I am definitely not home; my home lies in the rolling green hills of England. The truth is, there are things that I've done here, places I've seen and things I've learned that some people can only dream about, and it changes you. I am not the same person I was nine months ago, not by long shot, and I would never go back to being that person ever again. So if you see me, and I’m different, you'll know why, because my body might be back in Colorado, but my heart will be, forever, in England. 

As sad as it is that this is over, it’s time for something new and something different. It’s time for new adventures and new travels. There are bigger plans for my life than just nine months in England, and I know that if it means so much to me, I’ll be back. But for now, this is goodbye.

Not only is this a post of goodbyes, but also a post of thank-yous. There are so many people who made this experience amazing for me. For anyone who has sent money, letters, and kind thoughts my way, thank you so very much for your support. Thank you to Matt our director, who had to have me around for a year and survived. Thank you to the people of C-94 and C-95—you were my best friends and family, and I love you all.

This is has been fun, and thank you very much for reading. I’ll leave you with the words of the song, “The Last Goodbye,” sung by Billy Boyd, because the first time I heard them, I knew that they would be the anthem of my goodbye to Cambridge:

To these memories I will hold

With your blessing, I will go

To turn at last to paths that lead home

And though where the road then takes me

I cannot tell

We came all this way

But now comes the day to bid you farewell.

I bid you all a very fond farewell.

Stephanie